Playing at my brother's wedding. I'm a bit nervous

[Gordon]

My brother's getting married this weekend.  He asked me if I would play guitar while the bride walks down the aisle.  I agreed.  The song I suggested to the bride is "I Can't Help Falling In Love", as arranged on the A Guitar for Elvis CD.

There are a few complications...

I didn't suggest a song that I knew how to play.  It's wasn't actually a difficult song to learn, but I can't get through it every time without making a mistake or two.  Sometimes but not always.  I've still got a couple of days to work on it.  At least I can get through without breaking the rhythm.

The wedding is on the other side of the country.  I'll be flying to the wedding, so I'll have to play my travel guitar, which doesn't have much volume or bass.  I'll be playing through a PA.  I thought about buying a soundhole pickup, the soundhole on a Brunner travel guitar is quite small, and I think it would be hard to find a pickup that would fit.  A friend of mine lent me a Shadow piezo pickup that sticks onto the soundboard.  It should do the trick, but it's very heavy on the treble and light on the bass.  Pretty impressive feedback too, so I'll need to cover the soundhole.  The wedding invitation is about the right size to cover it.

I'll probably have about 5 minutes with the PA to try get set up.  It's going to be a last minute decision as to whether the wedding will be indoor or outdoors.

I've only played in front of an audience once in the last 15 years or so.  I'm a bit nervous.  At least all eyes will be on the bride, not me.  And it's a small crowd.  I've got a 3 hour layover after the first leg of my flight.  Maybe I'll practice a bit in front of strangers at the airport.

Anyway, I'll see how it goes.  I hope it doesn't turn into one of those character building events.  I've had enough of those already.  But if it does happen, at least it will be a character building experience with a bar.
 

The real solution to all this is of course to get out of the house and play more, so that I'll be ready for the next crisis opportunity.  I"ll have to work on that.


Gordon

[JOYCEfromNS]

I didn't suggest a song that I knew how to play.  It's wasn't actually a difficult song to learn, but I can't get through it every time without making a mistake or two.    At least I can get through without breaking the rhythm.

Gordon

A mistake or two nobody will notice BUT YOU. Practice at the airport is a fine idea. Enjoy it let us know how it turns out.

[teh]

First, it's really nice that your brother asked you to play and be part of his wedding. Focus on that rather than your performance.

Second, as Joyce pointed out almost anyone else present won't notice mistakes (if any). Don't be afraid to print off the music and put it in front of you. (Just keep a rock/paperweight handy if the wind is blowing.) I saw Bela Fleck pull out sheet music for a song he played at a concert last month in Ohio and he is the premier banjo player and improvisor in the world today. I was also sitting ten feet away from him and saw a couple of mistakes that I wouldn't have caught if he hadn't looked over at Edgar Meyer (Bassist) and smiled.

Third, be prepared to do a few encores of things you would like to play at the rehearsal dinner or the reception and post reception party.

[Gordon]

A mistake or two nobody will notice BUT YOU. Practice at the airport is a fine idea. Enjoy it let us know how it turns out.

Years from now, I'll probably run into someone who says "Hey!  Aren't you the guy who was making all those mistakes at the airport?"   

Don't be afraid to print off the music and put it in front of you.

That's a good idea.  I went back to looking at the  music tonight, and it smoothed things out a bit.

Third, be prepared to do a few encores of things you would like to play at the rehearsal dinner or the reception and post reception party.

Yeah, that may happen.  I think I'll be asked to play something after the rehearsal.  It will be much a more casual setting, though, so not nearly as much pressure.
I also thought it would be nice to play something at the end of the ceremony, if they haven't already arranged for something.  Embryonic Journey would be my choice for that.

Gordon

[Danny]

  Most people will never notice a mistake if you just keep playing. Sounds like a great opportunity.

[CJ]

Maybe one of the forum members is near to where your brother is being awfully wedded, and would be willing to loan you a guitar for the event.

I've played and sang for lots of weddings - it's one of the easiest gigs to have because the focus is on the bride not so much the music, unless there's a major league spasmodic kind of flub - you know the kind - where it sounds like the  bridge snapped off ... in fact, the mistakes make the whole thing more endearing, IMO.

During my wedding to Karen, I sang a original song for her - I was pretty keyed up singing in a tux in front of 400 people - my worry wasn't so much a mistake, but being overcome with emotion ... so I told my brother who was best man, IF he heard me getting all choked up, to simply lay a hand on my shoulder to steady and reassure me. So I started to choke up, he clasped my shoulder strongly and I found strength in that and finished the song. Not perfect at all, but very endearing to the people there because it was a very tender and vulnerable moment.

It's been 2 years since I accompanied my brother who sang for his wife - in a black wool tux, outdoors in 95 degrees. It went well. Not one comment on the guitar - just comments from folks who loved watching Dan sing to Lorraine.

I assure you, as far as your brother who loves you is concerned, you can make no mistakes - your playing for him is an affirmation of love - a blessing.

Enjoy the moment. ;^)

[jpmist]

I played my nephews wedding last month, was much fun. Haven't played publicly in years, was surprised how much I enjoyed it. At the beach with no PA and I had to tackle Pach-something Canon in D, which I'd heard of but never tried before.

As was pointed out, you're not the main event, basically you're just background music. My main advice would be to simplify the song and your setiup as much as you can and just relax.

They'll be happy with the fact that you're honoring the event with your performance and no-one is going to be critical about it. If they wanted a professional result they could have simply hired one, any glitches you make will simply add to the charm of your performance.

Break a leg! 

[L07 Shooting Star]

I've been in a few similar situations over the last 30 years or so; weddings, retirements, and even funerals.  I agree with what has been advised already and can't add much.  I think the guests who will be there will be thinking something like "how nice, his brother is singing at his wedding" and not "he made a mistake there".  Most wouldn't even know if you did make a mistake and if you did, they wouldn't care.

Kurt

[GA-ME]

I assure you, as far as your brother who loves you is concerned, you can make no mistakes - your playing for him is an affirmation of love - a blessing.

Dude, so true and what a beautiful way of expressing it! Gordon, just try to relax and enjoy the part you have been graciously given in this most special day for your brother and his soon to be bride.

Oh yeah, about the Brunner guitar: I saw 'ole Bookbinder pick a few tunes on his and HE sure made her sound pretty good.......

[ducktrapper]

Nervous? He's the one getting married! 

[Gordon]

Oh yeah, about the Brunner guitar: I saw 'ole Bookbinder pick a few tunes on his and HE sure made her sound pretty good.......

I bet he'd sound even better on a FIV.   Bookbinder would probably sound good playing just about anything. 

Anyway, I just don't have time to grow that kind of moustache.  Maybe I can rent one....   

I spoke to my future sister-in-law about what song to play, and mentioned that there might be a few minor screw-ups while I try to avoid a major meltdown.  She said that would be very appropriate, since that's how they live their lives. 

When my brother asked me to play at the wedding, I have to admit that I was quite pleased.  Honored is exactly the right word.  I said yes right away.  I'm sure I would have regretted saying no. 

So.... relax and play.     I'd still like to nail the song, though.


Thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement.  I'll let you know how it goes.


Gordon

[Gordon]

So the wedding came and went.  My song went well.  I'm relieved.    

There were a couple of little mistakes, but I was able to recover without much problem, and I don't think anybody noticed.  Since I was playing while the bride walked down the aisle, nobody was paying any attention to me anyway.


My brother and my sister-in-law were very happy that I agreed to play.  Now that it's done, I'm glad that I did it.



Gordon

[Danny]

Good ending Gordan. Or a nice beginning for your brother of course and you.

[GA-ME]

Since I was playing while the bride walked down the aisle, nobody was paying any attention to me anyway.
Gordon

Congratulations to your brother and his bride!! Also, congrats on performing and sharing something of yourself on the special day. I couldn't help but smile at the above quoted line. I was just married this past October and my tenor guitar player Craig was one of my groomsman. On the day of the wedding, I was such a nervous wreck. I was nervous beyond belief, to the point of being almost unable to speak. If you knew me personally, I have rarely been accused of being at a loss for words

Craig grabbed me by the shoulders looked straight at me and said "John, seriously what do you have to worry about? I've just seen your bride in her dress and let me tell you something my friend. You could be walking down the aisle, buck naked with your beard on fire, and no one is going to even be aware you are in the room. Calm down and marry that woman before SHE changes her mind!" I chuckled and pulled my nerves together and down the aisle I went. Craig and your quote were correct. It's all about the bride!! Once again, congrats on the performance going well on such a special day!

[flatlander]

This is about family. First  off if it's not technically perfect people probaby won't notice. Secondly, and at the same time , more importantly, it will be perfect. It's family.

[Walkerman]

".....by flatlander in Re: Playing at my brothe... "

Dang....I saw this in the menu, and I thought is was going to be a discussion about playing in brothels....oh well.......

[Gordon]

".....by flatlander in Re: Playing at my brothe... "

Dang....I saw this in the menu, and I thought is was going to be a discussion about playing in brothels....oh well.......

If that was the case, my choice of song would have been "What's love got to do with it?"


Gordon