Many of us have a musical heritage in our family, mine was not directly influenced by this as I never got to experience the many talented family musicians perform/play at all. Many of us just have natural God-given desires to be a musician.

I thought it would be good to discuss our successes and failures at passing this torch to our children and I would love to hear some feedback. All four of my kids (ages 10-19) have played various instruments and sometimes with alarming progress but have not stayed interested. I have all types of instruments throughout the house like many of us and can teach them. I barely push them, may recommend them to play or practice any instrument they choose and leave it at that. Occasionally they want to play, usually when I am seriously rehearsing!

My daughter is a strong vocalist and is studying chorus on competion level with public school, it leads to a performing arts school here. She will not perform in front of me or any family by request, but only on the big stage whether solo, with band or chorus. She even rehearses in private lol.

What is your experience?

My son has had a guitar since the age of 4,though no real interest.Now at 11 he wants to learn the piano and would love a drum set.This summer I will be trading repair service's for piano lessons.Maybe for xmas I'll have the money for a nice drum set.

Oh yeah, I tell my kids about my sincerity with music - so this has been my deal and attempted enticement for them for many years:

They learn to play any instrument at an intermediate level (when I fairly say) and I will at my choice buy them a nice one (whatever insrument they are playing) or hand them one that I own for them to keep. My 19 year old just moved out and I sent him with an acoustic I bought when 18 -- nothing fabulous, but according to his skills a decent sunburst cutaway Epi and free for learning.

My family had very strong musical abilities on both the paternal and maternal sides with my grandparents. My maternal grandfather was a professional bluegrass banjo picker his entire life. Though I only met him once because my grandmother divorced him because he was a professional musician and a lousy gambler! My paternal grandfather played and sang country music in local roadhouses up through the 50's and my grandmother taught herself how to play lap steel so she could follow my grandfather around and keep him out of barfights and handcuffs. However, neither of my parents ever played a musical instrument and my mother was as tone deaf as a person can be. So, I never had lessons when I was young and didn't start playing guitar till I was about 18 and could buy my own instrument. I also inherited my mother's ear, but I just kept at it until I gained what proficiency I have. I think it must be a truly wonderful thing to share music with your children and see them grow in their musicality. I do not have children so passing it on is limited to showing the neighborhood kids that stop around when I sit outside an pick how to play chords and such and helping the younger pickers at local open mics to discover open tunings and finger picked techniques when ever they ask.

Both my wife and I belong to the local folk music organization and my wife is active as a board member in this organization. One thing I do to help pass music along is to give any tips we receive when we play out to the Delaware Friends of Folk to use in their Maurice Shockley String Instrument Scholarship program. Maurice was an old fellow active in the local oldtime scene and he left a small endowment that funds lessons for stringed instruments for poor kids whose families can not afford to purchase lessons. I also try to fix up old guitars and give them to deserving folks who can't afford an instrument.

Music saved my life and brought purpose back into my life after I suffered a catastrophic injury that left me fully disabled 6 years ago. From music, I was able to find hope and new direction in life. I truly hope to spread that joy to others. I have been fortunate enough that I now play in a group with my old guitar teacher, from my 20's, as well as with a teacher of mine, from high school, who used to bring in his archtop and teach me barre chords and a few things like that on his own time. I know it feels wonderful to make music with them as it feels full circle if that makes any sense. I hope that some day I'll have the pleasure of making music with the younger folks that I give tips too or even perhaps a little one of me own!. I always try to explain what tunings I am using and how I go about playing to anyone who asks when we play out. Its what we are supposed to do, give of our talents to one another and the renumeration is AWESOME!

I started my 2 sons out with guitar (mostly electric) lessons at an early age.  Now, they both play a multitude of stringed instruments...from guitar to uke to cello....and keyboards.  They have far surpassed their old man.  What more could I ask for.  Maybe when I retire, and they are working fulltime, I can pass them up.  My oldest son was in class once...sociology I believe...and the teacher was saying how quite often male children end up being a lot like their fathers. One student bemoaned...so, I am going to spend my time fishing, playing quitar or listening to Neil Young?  My son started laughing and said...well, you won't be the only one.  Life goes on...... :guitar

I see I left out the part about "legacy".....my mom played a number of instruments...clarinet, accordion, keyboards, dulcimer, banjo.....we kids were given lessons from an early age....brother took clarinet, trumpet for me.  I became quite good at most all brass instruments.  Along came the Beatles and I pretty much lost interest in brass, and got a cheapo guitar.  Now, both my brother and I play guitar.

Tell them not  to and forbid them to touch guitars.   

My 13 year old has played guitar since he was nine and takes lessons, though I would not call him passionate about it.  Meaning, he won't play unless I tell him to.  But he says he likes it.  He just likes Playstation more.  My 11 year old chose drums.  He's got quite a talent for them.  I can't entice him toward the strings, though.  His drum teacher is continuously wowed by his ability, so I'm glad he picked something he has a knack for.

No music legacy from my parents, hence I took up guitar late in the game. 

You never know when the things your kids start really will grab them. That's why our guitar teacher doesn't tell parents of kids who don't practice to quit; he's seen too many cases of that same child or teenager really latching onto it later.  Good topic.

My grandmother is a classically trained pianist and always tried to teach me piano.  I thought it was for sissies and wasn't interested.  

I always wanted to play guitar, but my dad said I'd not stick with it, so no guitar for me during my earliest years.  When I graduated high school and got a job, one of the first things I did was buy a Fender Stratocaster.  That was almost 20 years ago.  I guess I'll stick with it after all (though I don't own an electric guitar anymore).

My oldest son (10) plays mandolin and has a natural ability to pick out melodies and things by ear.  I'll not force him into reading music or any kind of drudgery.  If he wants to, fine; if not, then he can play by ear and see where it takes him.  My other children are too young to tell if they will want to pursue music or not.  

Great topic.  

I picked up the guitar seven years ago, finally after wanting to do so most of my life. There are no musicians in my family and it remains that way even now. Music has always been a part of our lives and Mom directed the choir of the small church I grew up in, but I'm the only one that has taken up an instrument. My son likes music but hasn't the patience for playing anything, except his MP3 player. We attempted to start him with guitar, but I'm the one that got the bug.
It's interesting hearing others tell their stories.

My dad was an opera singer.  Used to tour the country with a choir when he was young.  My mom, and her three sisters, all played piano.  I started guitar at 13.  There were times when I would put it down for weeks, even months, at a time.  Teenagers aren't always dedicated.  My boys are 5 and nearly 8.  They like singing and are both pretty good at it but they haven't shown much interest in the guitar just yet.  I figure by the time they start to be interested in girls they'll start thinking about it.  I know it motivated me to learn and practice more.   :wink:

I doubt pushing them is a good idea. Really, I don't believe there's any sure fired way of getting your kids to play unless they really want to play. My dad bought me a used strat like guitar for Christmas in 1965. That was it. Other than giving me the opportunity, I was never really encouraged by my parents and generally mocked by my siblings. Try to stop  me from playing, however! Thanks Dad! My kids, on the other hand, had some very nice guitars around and never showed much real interest in playing them. Go figure! They don't much like to do what we do. It's some kind of human nature.

Quote from: ducktrapper on April 23, 2011, 08:01:39 AM
They don't much like to do what we do. It's some kind of human nature.

Sad but true in most cases especially if there is a steep learning curve

If you have young boys, show them "A Hard Days Night"......after they see all the girls chasing the 4 lads from Liverpool....they'll beg for a guitar. :roll

Quote from: Walkerman on April 23, 2011, 09:23:57 AM
If you have young boys, show them "A Hard Days Night"......after they see all the girls chasing the 4 lads from Liverpool....they'll beg for a guitar. :roll

They can see Bieber from their house. 

My grandfather was from Scotland and played the bagpipes.  I remember as a kid every Christmas morning he would go outside and wail away on the bagpipes, and probably annoy the whole neighbourhood ;-)  My mom played the piano, but we never had a piano in the house when we were growing up. 

I bought a cheap acoustic guitar when I was a teenager, but never stuck with it long enough to get any good at it.  I would play it for 3 months, then put it down for a year ... It wasn't until my mid 30's that I bought my first Larrivee and have been playing everyday since.  With that said, I don't play my guitars much these days as the mandolin has taken its grip on me. 

I always had my guitars out and our kids (5 and 8) knew to be careful around then and not touch them without Dad's permission.  By the time my oldest son turned 7, he was really itching for an instrument of his own.  We decided on a mandolin as it was smaller and he could get his hand around the neck.  Almost a day doesn't go by without him playing it.  He plays open mics every month, joined a rock club and has put on 3 concerts, busks at the Saturday market in the summer and at the Christmas Craft Fair in the winter.  My wife and kids went to Japan 6 weeks ago and there was no way he was leaving his mandolin at home.  He's played at a few schools over there and has jammed with some pretty good musicians as well.  He really wanted to try busking over there, but I haven't heard if has had the chance.  My youngest son has been asking for an instrument for the past 6 or 7 months now, so we'll see what happens when his birthday comes around in October.  I think he kinda feels left out when Dad and his brother are playing music.  He said that he wants to play (now don't laugh too much) banjo.  I reckon we can get a little bluegrass band happening. 

I haven't really pushed it on them but they have been around music all their lives.  I think Duck hit the nail on the head when he said not to let your kids touch your instrument.  They will naturally want to just because they can't.  :tongue:

Here's some videos of my 8 year old playing mandolin ... http://www.youtube.com/user/DenmanPaddles#p/u (http://www.youtube.com/user/DenmanPaddles#p/u)

John

Quote from: Caz on April 24, 2011, 12:45:46 AM
But I do believe in a) naturally exposing them to music, b) exposing them to many genres...ultimately they will make their own choices, c) being prepared to listen to their music and d) if they do pick up an instrument encourage them all the way.

Wisdom.

You can and should only attempt to guarantee opportunity, never results. Oddly enough, in some cases, discouragement works much better than encouragement. I mean how else do you explain all the people on AI that, apparently, are hearing for the first time how much they suck. I thought that's what siblings were for. :whistling:

My parents and Grandparents had no real musical abilities.  Very few other relatives play instruments.  One cousin does play violin and mandolin.  I have a brother who could play about any instrument you placed before him in a matter of minutes and has arranged complete musical scores for orchestras.  (I understand he no longer has much musical interest)   My oldest brother was a pretty fair guitar player/singer.  My brother's musical ability wasn't embraced by their kids.  My talents are mediocre on the guitar although I do enjoy it and play regularly.  Unfortunately I wasn't able to have children so I guess whatever musical talent/legacy there is ends with me. 

Not a real cheery story now that I think about it.   :humour:

Quote from: SMan on April 24, 2011, 12:36:44 PM
My parents and Grandparents had no real musical abilities.  Very few other relatives play instruments.  One cousin does play violin and mandolin.  I have a brother who could play about any instrument you placed before him in a matter of minutes and has arranged complete musical scores for orchestras.  (I understand he no longer has much musical interest)   My oldest brother was a pretty fair guitar player/singer.  My brother's musical ability wasn't embraced by their kids.  My talents are mediocre on the guitar although I do enjoy it and play regularly.  Unfortunately I wasn't able to have children so I guess whatever musical talent/legacy there is ends with me. 

Not a real cheery story now that I think about it.   :humour:

The similarities with mine are uncanny :ph34r:

Quote from: SMan on April 24, 2011, 12:36:44 PM
Not a real cheery story now that I think about it.   :humour:

LOL!